De Mysteriis Dom incognegro
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not a cheap date, but efficient.

and no, i'm not referring to me. i'm neither cheap, nor efficient.

you know you're living life when you're still learning life's lessons, even after you proudly proclaimed to the internet populace over one year ago that you are "old."

and i've learned a couple of lessons from this weekend.

lesson one: if a bartender finds you attractive, she will, for better or worse, pour you a strong drink. you do this enough, you will live to regret it the next day.

lesson two: never go drinking with a woman who (proudly?) claims that she doesn't drink drinks, only shots.

lesson three: a group of internet professionals with an open tab can fucking DRINK, fool.

and you know it was a good night when you make it home with all your electronics still functioning, and you wake up the next morning lying diagonally across your bed with all the lights still on. and you're clothed.

that said, CW asked me today why i'd taken so long to update my site. and, up until friday around 7pm, i hadn't really done anything, didn't say anything stupid to anybody... things had just been low key, you know? and even those lessons learned were learned in low key settings.

now i guess i've set it up enough to explain. as shortly as possible.

thursday i made my once-yearly trip to compound (i don't like big ass nightclubs, fyi) to support GS' friend in a bikini contest. that night was unspectacular, save for me calling one of the Jager girls fat. not to her face, but she seriously needed to cover up.

friday was a happy hour turned ugly as a group of us from work went out to drink away what had to be the worst week i've had since i started working here last year. and mine wasn't NEARLY as bad as JMcH, PZ, or TTs. i think between the three of them they got about 10 hours sleep total last week. so yeah, we drank. SS (shot girl) tried to kill us. a red snapper that was all snapper and no red pretty much did me in. i was home and in bed by 11. 12? maybe it was 1. all i know is i wanted to blow up the sun when i woke up saturday morning.

and saturday was the Mighty LBs birthday. so after sweating like hookers in church at mid city cuisine, we headed to the venerable cheesefest that is Cosmopolitan/Lava. SC (Minn.) made an appearance, so we ducked out a little early and headed to the Highlander for some normalcy. aahh... no techno, just metallica and wu-tang. and beef!

and sunday, just caught wedding crashers w/ SL in an attempt to shake off saturday night. i wasn't expecting it to be as funny as it was. but it was damn funny. so, to make up for my dull couple of weeks, i give you a couple of interesting news items.

like this bad boy. if i hit the lotto i'm installing one in the back of my truck.

i would have actually read this in school. i know i sorta blew off reading the original.

and i just thought this was plain funny.


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