advice

one thing is for sure. there are times when we all could use an outside perspective on various topics in our lives. it may be a relationship question, a question about work... who knows? but i'm nothing if not helpful to all of my faithful readers.

so, under the guidance of DL (San Fran), i present the latest section of the site: Advice. Don't hesitate to shoot a question if you feel you need a fresh set of ears on a problem.

or if your friends are fucking morons and you don't trust shit they say anyway. DL is waiting...

Dear DR. L,

i'll keep it short and sweet like a shorty with big boobs.

the connection is a bit wierd, so i'll try like this:

me -> friend -> his friend -> his friend's friend

it was his friend's friend's birthday. so i went out with him mainly to hang with a bunch of women. so we're hangin out, drinking, etc. one of them mentions that she rarely gets to go out "in town," so i offered. i do this a lot, so i didn't think anything of it.

so the following week, she calls me to see if i have plans for a saturday night. i did - a party thrown by a friend of mine from school. i told her she should come, too, since there would be lots of people, free booze, all that jazz. she comes, we go, and this is where it got weird. apparently, she thought we were on a date, and expressed this to several people, basically anyone who would listen. she then proceeded to get mad at me for playing wingman to my buddy, talking to all of my friends, and in general "not paying attention to her."

i feel bad. not because i dissed her, but because i didn't know going into this situation it was a "date." clearly by the end of the night it wasn't a "date," but now do i smooth things over, if for no other reason, that my friend can sleep with her friend.

thanks for the time. sign me,

confused but nicely dressed.

Dear Confused But Nicely Dressed,

Strictly speaking, a date is a fruit from the date palm. It has a wrinkly coat that's covered by a sticky, waxy film. If you're on a date, you'll know, especially if you're sitting on one!

This woman, this friend of your friend's girl or whatever, definitely showed the sour demeanor of one who has sat on a date, and probably very recently. If you want to smooth things over, I'd suggest offering to dry-clean her clothes for her.

As for playing wingman, well, I did some research. According to the Official Pentagon handbook (cc.1323 p 133, pp 34 Ð 39) obtained by Freedom of Information Act g33401, I quote:

ÒThe wingmanÕs primary directive is to provide support for his lead. That includes taking crossfire from enemy combatants, whether by air or by land. The wingman is expendable if necessary, as long as the leader achieves his mission.Ó

It sounds to me like you are now hurting your friendÕs goal of sleeping with his woman. I think that not only should you offer to do this other womanÕs laundry for her, you may have to go so far as marry her, if thatÕs what it takes. YouÕve chosen this path by being a wingman; you know what you have to do.